tonight i was watching tv and i was not focusing on it at all. i mean all i saw was a family arguing like a typical sitcom and hear the audiences laugh when one of the family members would do or say something stupid. usually i get into these shows as i would laugh along with them in unison but tonight i couldn't. i mean i tried but to no avail. what was i thinking? plain and simple... nicole. i mean she told me some things that in all honesty i never thought i would ever hear from anyone let alone her. i mean i wont lie i had no confidence at all in life or in anything and most of the time it bite me back in the ass with me sitting there all bent out of shape asking myself over and over why? she expressed to me how much she cared about me and even though she still might debate what she told me tonight its really flattering that she is even be debating a topic like this with me as the subject. i mean i just never thought that it would happen. i will say this... although i may not be on the degree she is after thinking about it a lot tonight im not far off. how do i know? i mean she is all i talk about to my friends and all i think about most of the day. its never happen to a simple minded kid like me but its true. granted i know we haven't been together as long as other people have and some people may look at that as if "we are just saying that to just say it and that we don't mean it. we are sorta caught in the moment." no. you couldn't be more wrong, plain and simple. we are both too smart and have the same beliefs to just say it. i care a lot about nicole no question in my mind and i will continue to pursue a deeper and more meaningful relationship because that is what i want. she is perfect for me in her own weird way. correction... our own weird way lol.
while i was watching tv too tonight a commercial for target came on and like all the other retailer commercials they first tell you about all the deals they are having and how you need to buy this to make your kids happy. lame. what struck me hard was in the end it said "happy holidays." although that may seem harmless to you and 99.9% of the time it is for me to but tonight it didn't. what happen you may ask??? this will be my last christmas as a civilian and by this time next year only god knows where ill be at. i hate to admit it but its true, hopefully back here with my family and in good health but i cant bet anything on that. i mean im excited too that im going to be traveling the world and seeing things that i wouldn't normally see but i can tell you this now... im going to miss my "average joe" life here. i work 32 hours a week, go home and relax, see my friends and girlfriend when i can, and enjoy life. instead though ill more than likely be on a ship somewhere doing what im told to do and then moving on from there. as of now i plan to only do 4 years and then out. honor the contract and then leave while im still young and show promise. i had a guy come up to me a couple of days ago while i was working and asked if i was going to school, while i showed him a watch. you know? small talk. i told him that i signed up for the navy and plan on leaving soon. he looked at me with a serious look on his face and said "thank you" and shook my hand. that small gesture made me think that i am doing something worth while even though ill have to sacrifice some of my life to do that. so i say thank you to that gentlemen cause he has made this a lot easier for me.
guys this is a record blog for me and although i do have more to talk about all it is about my dolphins and i just dont think it will fit in good with this blog about my life. so ill hold out on it another day =]
goodnight guys and if i dont say it to you personally have a safe and enjoyable merry christmas.
No comments:
Post a Comment