tis is the day!!!

OAR CONCERT TONIGHT FOOLS!!!

my god i can not wait.

i feel as bad as it looks outside. gloomy.

what a night last night. i poured out everything to her as we talked far about 2 hours on the phone. its not going to work out and yeah im sad as hell but also last night i thought for awhile and what came to mind is one word. change. 

i feel as ive been too nice these past couple of years and right now i feel just the same way. i mean just my track record with stuff like this is horrible. so what is a guy like me suppose to do when things dont turn out right? change. im going to be a new me starting today. im going to have a certain swagger that everyone will notice. im not going to be so nice when it comes to things. i faced it last night. girls like assholes. im no asshole. im not going to become one but i am going to become a more moderate version of the word. my personality will stay the same but my brain will think in a different way. over and over ive tried to be there for them and what do i have to show for??? nothing. change is good at times. this is one of those times.

today is going to suck miserably and if i had any time in my life i wish i got something i wanted... this is the time.

i feels as

i did everything right from day one.

i dont hold any regrets with how i handled things because its who i am and i cant change it.

you get the great, sweet guy that you have always wanted but i cant help that i worry about you and want to see you ever chance i can get. i like you alot, plain and simple. if you cant see that with all the stuff ive done then there is nothing more i can do.

t minus

5 days to the O.A.R. concert in St. Pete 

AND....

7 days to the O.A.R. concert in Boca Raton!!!

i cant wait for them to play this song too lol

why!!!

why does december 4th have to be so far away!!! lol

another one of my music videos. they put me in a good mood so what can i say lol

ive got to face it.

i was sitting and watching the last 3 outs of the yankees game tonight and after 85 years of history in the making yankee stadium was put to rest. tonight was the last time anyone will ever see a baseball game. all the way back to babe ruth hit the first homer to beat the red sox 4-1 to the greatest of all time muhammad ali defended his championship in a match or when or recent memories that i will remember like when aaron boone hit a walk off homer to beat the red sox in a thrilling fashion. i watched tonight's game and my god the memories in this stadium astounds me.

now granted im no yankee fan. i hate them actually lol. my favorite memory is when my marlins won the 03 world series on game 6 in yankee stadium when people said that we couldnt do it. so you can see im not yankee fan. when i watched this game though i had to show respect though. so much great pride and history. i mean you got the babe, mickey mantle, yogi berra, joe dimaggio, and hell even derek jeter on present day greatness played for this team. it makes you sit back and respect and "aw" at there greatness. i mean for god sake they won 26 world series!!!!! no matter if you love or hate them i realized tonight... you've got to respect them.

it also made me realize tonight how much we should value our memories and take mental notes and pictures of things that we cherished most in our lives so that way we can share them with our kids, grand kids and hell if we are lucky you may get to do it again with your great grand kids. im going to make myself a vow after tonight to do this more often. whether its the simple things like a memory of two love birds kissing in a cabana, when your dad and you went to a football game together, or just a memory of a group of friends for years going to prom. you only get to live life once. make sure you make it memorable and be sure to share them memories. =]

the possibilities???

she probably wont like me putting this on my blog but i dont care what she thinks and my charm will get me out if i am in trouble =] lol

i kinda got inspired to make one of me. im just thinking the possibilities... oh yeah.

its 1:30 in the morning

for some damn reason i cant turn off my tv to go to bed. 

is it weird that whats on my tv is the discovery channel's tribute to fungi!? i find this shit fascinating. hahaha

go figure. 

thank god.

i finally got up and did a lot today. i drove over to the recruiters office and signed up for my asvab test AND i studied for about 3 hours on that test!!! i got still some time to study cause i leave next thursday and friday to miami for my test and of course to sign my soul away lol j/k.  i feel like a million bucks that i got all that shit done... now to blow off some of this built up energy im going to go work out and shoot some hoops. 

Peace.

cant sleep...

i was irritated but for what??? i guess the fact that i was not going to be able to see nicole until the middle of next week... its ok though. i got aim and a telephono to talk to her =] 

alyssa talking to me on aim and jason mraz videos made me chill out lol. i didnt notice it untill tonight how much i miss that girl. i guess because she is all in orlando and i talk to her maybe once a week if that makes me miss her more. i miss the "war" games and of course she just knows what to say to have me so damn aggravated when we are done playing. i would win and she would come up with some lame excuse like "ohhh you had all the aces!!! i stacked the deck like that." lol of course that will get me flipping out cause just once i want her to admit I WON lol. it wont never happen though. she is to proud of a person. i worry about her from time to time too. with zach, her health, and school. i need to make more trips up there and see her. that goes ditto for her too lol. i tell people all the time that that is the only good thing i got out of that shit hole that is reebok. i meet a person i can be friends with for the rest of my life =]

enough bloggin... i need to try and catch some of them zzzzzzzz's

Peace peeps.

kinda sucks...

today was real shitty. i had nothing to do all day but sit at home. i did work out some but that is besides the point. i need to get shit organized and start going in high gear but everytime i say "today im going to do this..." or my favorite "i promise to do get this done" it never does. i was going to go to the recruiters office today but i just was so damn lazy and didnt want to get up and move anywhere. why!? shouldnt i be jumping, hoping, and skipping my way to ft myers and see them and get going because its something ive been wanting to do for awhile now... but im not!? why!? i guess my brain is telling me this will be extremely smart but my heart says dont go fool because you know damn well you wont like it!!! i got to get shit done. i need to start studying my asvab book too... i need to do some math and get good at it again before my test. it will help me dramatically if i can. ohhhhhh god give me the strength to get stuff done. lol

also something that blows is all these medical bills i get stuck with from my mom. i mean she basically throws these bills at me one after another. as soon as i turned 18 i was cut off completely of any support from her. i mean it has helped me become more independent and showed me that i can take care of myself but it sucks that she would do that to me. she kicked me out of the house and sent me the bills from my cancer... one after another, after another. reason why this is hitting me so hard all of a sudden was because today i got a call at my grandmothers house from the lee memorial collection dept. and they wanted to know when they would get their check. i had no idea i owed anything and when i asked how did they get my number to contact me at my grandmothers house they told me (and i quote) "we called your house in naples and your mom answered. when we asked about why you have missed your payment she told us to talk to you about it at your grandmothers house." and she gave them her number... i mean come on!? it sucks when your own mother cant help you out with any bills and will be damned to lend you any money. ive been asked "what about your dad??? will he help you out?" he would if he had the money. my dad works like someone ive never seen. he works 50 hours a week in that god forsaken heat outside painting. not glamours i know but it puts food on the table and he squeaks by with the bills. he has to support my good for nothing step mom that doesnt work and my little nephew. i only wish in the future i can be half the man he is. best of all about my dad he has the best attitude ive ever seen about life. he goes through so much shit but he always has a smile on his face. i think i now know where i get that from =]

i feel like too im fading away from some of my friends. some starting at other schools and i havent hung out in forever because they are always doing something with other people. im ok with it now. i feel confident that we will chill again soon. another thing... i feel like im not as close with another. we use to talk everynight about life, movies, random funny stories and now it doesnt happen so often. we also use to hang out alot more, actually about everyday but now because you have been so busy it has not happened. i miss you. i hope something can change real soon because i will go crazy. im been trying not to get mad with you too... i just hate how i get my heart set on hanging out and doing stuff with and then all of sudden we cant. it blows but i know its all for you to better yourself for the future. so i cant be mad. 

holy crap this is a long blog... im proud =]

Peace fools.

yeah its another one lol

i know ive been posting up alot of jason mraz videos but the man is sick as hell.

this one is a great version of "the remedy" (one of my favorite songs lol)

play it brotha!!!

hmm???

i need to do something out of the ordinary to grab some attention back you know some lime light.

change it up some... lol

what to do???

this shit sucks!!!

what the hell!?

all off-season they have been building up this team to have had major improvements and actually... well... win some damn football games!!! this is bullshit!!! ive been a dolfan since i can remember and all its ever been is a disappointment. i mean when will i see a glimpse of the glory days. in 72 when we went undefeated, when we won the superbowl back to back, when marino was breaking all sorts of records!!! im getting so damn aggravated to turn on the game every sunday saying to myself "this is the game where everything turns around!!!" like fucking clock work i turn it on and its just a big disappointment. im not going to stop becoming a fan. not me. im just not going to hope for so much because it will just hurt that much harder.

atleast my noles are kicking ass and taking names so its not that bad of a loss.

Peace Peeps.

soccer.

dont ask how or why it happen i just got the call this morning and apparently im going to lakeland to watch gil's college soccer game. who is going??? the crew... me, shawn , steve, steven. ill be back probably later today but i mean its not like anyone reads this so yeah... lol

Peace guys.

just bloggin

i hate days off and you got no plans...

i mean sometimes i enjoy being lazy but then not most of the time lol

tomorrow is saturday and so far no plans so of course ill make my round of calls to see what the buzz is on the street. i need to do some errands but fuck them. its a saturday tom and my day off. ill take care of shit like that when i need too lol

in other news all is well and dandy. nothing serious to report so all in all as of now... life is good.

peace out peeps.

i guess

there is nothing to do now but wait...

i was looking forward to it too.

one of my favorite.

oar live performances.

damn it man i got...

19 more days to the OAR concert in tampa

22 more days to the OAR concert in boca raton

like a ton of bricks.

it hit me today!!!

i figured out the perfect job for me in the navy.

me being a recruiter!!!

think about it... im good with people. (according to some i have this ability to make people happy by just meeting them lol.) i mean i would be home and be able to do my job and too raise a family like i wanted too. this would be one of the best jobs if i can get it. im damn sure going to try now.

i dont like this...

i have no idea what is going on.

it seems as if stuff is going downhill...

wtf...

i came across this today... and it is ridiculous.

first off. how in the hell can a group called "the darkness" sing a song like this!? i mean shouldnt queen or something like that be singing this!!! the sad part is... i can reach the high note probably better then him :(

also another note... after watching this video i feel like i need to drive down and see nicole pronto just so i can be with a girl cause i feel like this made a fraction of me gay. lol j/k

she says that she has been wanting to make a video with me...

well i got an idea and ohhhh the potential. =]

finally.

after thinking and thinking and thinking...

after all the hair i pulled out of my head today.

i made up my mind.

its to the navy i go.

help anyone!?

i have a HUGE decision to make and idk what i am going to do... i want to stay behind so much and look for an apt. in naples and maybe even a roommate and just go to school. get my degree in criminal justice and start being a cop. sounds like a no brainer right??? i mean i stay home go to school and start my life. this whole time too if i did that ill be with my friends. 

but...

there is something else i can do. this will pay for my school, help me become a better person, travel the world, and set me for life with jobs or whatever. joining the navy would be the smart thing to do just beacuse of those reasons above... but the more i hang out with friends and get to know new friends the more it seems of finding the easy way out. i mean yeah i would get all of this great stuff but do i really want to go to serve my country... now that im thinking about it the answer is no. i mean i hate to sound like a jackass but its true. the only reason i would go is for the benefits. 

this is a tough choice... 

- if i stay ill be happier but will work harder at my job, school, and idk even if how i can afford an apt!!!

- if i go to the navy all will be easier but i wont be as happy as me staying behind. ill alos be traveling the world though and going on an adventure...

help anyone!?

PRAISE GOD!!!

-its all about wearing your teams colors only on sunday.

-its about playing football with your friends while waiting for the game.

-its about making fearless and yet sometimes stupid predictions about your team.

-its about talking smack to your friends and anything you can find about there team

-its about stupid superstitions before games

-its about not shaving and wearing that old ratty ass but good luck hat

-its about the damn nfl football song!!!!!

ladies and gentlemen... football is back.

prediction this year... miami will go 8-8 or 9-7

we wont make the playoffs cause the AFC is to strong and because their are way too many talented teams in the AFC. still though it will be a great turnaround from are ugly 1-15 season last year. it's a new year and everyone is undefeated. lets play some football!!!!

one more thing...

WATCH OUT FOR MIAMI IN 2010!!!

this song gets me pumped up like no other!!! i get goosebumps.

by far

tonight was by far a crazy awesome night.

comments like the one she made just now make me want to skip to my lou!!! lol

i feel as this is perfect and cant get any better.

damn it...

i hate getting up in the morning... im so tired right now lol

this is sick!!!

holy crap.

not only is this a great live song of im yours by jason mraz but when the song is over the freestyling and jamming is awesome

perfect

things in my life seem so perfect right now.

i dont know why but they do.

i like it.

a simple question...

i think to myself all morning while im looking outside on the porch. why does it seem that bad stuff happens to good people??? i mean is it karma? genes? or just plain bad luck??? i mean i had my cancer and now a friend of mine has to go through something that i cant even begin to explain how i feel for her. i mean maybe its me only noticing the good people getting attacked by all this bad news. maybe its life in general throwing another curve ball at you and making yourself get back up so you can be stronger. it sucks that i will never know the answer to this question... i guess the only thing i can do now is continue to help those people get through with their problems. 

not one of my happier blogs... hope soon all will get better.

wishes at 11:11

it sucks to hear whats going on tonight... i mean i feel for her and i want to comfort her and the old me would have done that. what i am going to do is be here and be supportive but im going to too let her deal with her problems anyway she wants too because she knows what is better for herself, not me. this news sucks and it took away the good night we had. i feel like i need to say one thing though on something good that happened tonight. she caught me off guard and i loved it. i will redeem myself though. 

i KNOW all will be well tom. 

peace out fellow peeps.

a word form the wise

Live High. 

Live Mighty.

Live Righteously.

Take it Easy.

awesome.

this song make me dance just like him in this video...

i guess im the geek but no pink lol

its time.

tv and lights are off and i still cant sleep...

i have to come to the conclusion on whats going on right now... i need to start worrying about myself first. i need to stick up for myself if i feel something is wrong. i want to but this is going to take sometime and is definitely not going to be an easy transition. i wish all i needed to do was just blink and it would be over with but its not. the world doesnt work like that. i need to find that balance between being a good friend to people and making them laugh butttttt i also need stick up for myself!!! this is the start of a new me. i making this a promise to myself because its time for it. im starting a new life and moving into the world and its time to grow up and become more of a man then a kid.

i feel better

one phone call is all it took

one good heart to heart conversation 

one good understanding what is really going on.

is all that i needed. =]

this was not the day i wanted...

i dont know where to start... i mean i had plans to go hang out with a friend and all hell broke loose in a matter of an hour. i was driving home after all of this and i wasnt paying attention and put a random cd in and i swear it was the craziest thing ive ever seen. bob marley's three little birds played and i for the first time today smiled. i mean it was perfect timing!!! also too what was so perfect about all of this was that when i left my friends house the whole sky was gray and rainy and ill be damn as soon as that song came there was a break in the cloud and a ray of sunlight hit me on the driver side!!! i felt a warm sensation come over me like someone is looking out for me at that point.

 

i mean even after all that i still feel terrible though (just not as bad as before.) i made a mistake to a friend that i now realize and i feel terrible about it... if she is reading this then i want to say something i havent said to her yet and that is im sorry. she deserves better from me and all she got was the shit end of the stick... i dont know much i can say. if what she tells me is true and she was protecting me from getting hurt then damn it i owe that girl my unconditional love.

why is it in human nature to talk bad about someone behind someone's back??? i mean im not saint about it cause we all do it but im making my self a pact now to resist this. there is no point because if this person finds out from someone else it only hurts 10x worse. i should say i hope there is no truth to what i heard today but i mean now at this point i am torn!!! i mean i am literally stuck in the middle about everything. idk what to do i guess all i can do now is wait for that phone call and see what is really going on... 

this was not a good day at all :( 

i got owned...

i laugh everytime i see this...

kneecolee 92 (12:27:43 AM): hahah..guess what I found in the depths of my closet today
kneecolee 92 (12:28:20 AM): SEX POSITION DICE!
fins4life7 (12:28:20 AM): what?
fins4life7 (12:28:29 AM): i love those
fins4life7 (12:29:09 AM): i like the ones that tell you to do stuff
fins4life7 (12:29:22 AM): like one says lick
fins4life7 (12:29:32 AM): and the other say my balls 
kneecolee 92 (12:29:52 AM): haha, and one says kiss
kneecolee 92 (12:29:54 AM): and the other says
kneecolee 92 (12:29:56 AM): my ass
fins4life7 (12:30:03 AM): damn!!!

sit back, relax.

this is just an awesome video. i always catch myself back watching it and by far is one of my favorite ukulele pieces. 

whats on my mind.

just chilling and listening to jason mraz serenade the crowd with his guitar and lyrics. i like feeling like this. it makes me think alot. i do have alot on my mind these days... but mostly good stuff. ive got decisions to make in alomst every aspect of life. i guess the older you get the more of those you get. its funny... i mean time flies and you cant wait to grow older to see where your life takes you but mostly ive been wanting to go back to the simpler times. when i had no worries. oh well. 

have you ever meet someone that rocked your world!? i mean the more i get to know this person the more im blessed to meet someone who is so original and genuine. i want to know this person more, dig into there deep thoughts and figure out more about their likes and dislikes. its strange too... i mean its a awesome feeling. idk what im saying lol. i hope this works out for the best cause i like this feeling and would not trade it for all the cash in the world. 

in about 3 months i want to know where ill be... i guess there is only one way to find out and i intend to sit back to enjoy the ride that is life =]