thank you fedex!!!

woooo!!!!

i just got them in and let me tell you something... I AM PUMPED!!! 

what could it be you ask??? i mean it probably isnt much to entertain a man like justin miners. well my amigo, you see i have in my possession a pair of tickets. not just any old, boring, pair of tickets to a concert, movie, or whatever... oh no, for you see i wouldn't search high and low online and find this amazing deal on these tickets. so now you think to yourself "wow how much justin rambles on and how i want to know what these damn tickets are too." wait now longer my friend...

2 PLAYOFF TICKETS TO THIS WEEKS MIAMI DOLPHINS GAME!!! 

i will witness with my own eyes my dolphins take to the field and win in all aspects of the game. passing, running, defense, kicking, and whatever else needs to be done to assure that we move on in the playoffs and get even closer to the most glorious championship trophy known to man and that is the vince limbardi trophy and bringing home a championship to miami. 

GOD I CANT WAIT TILL SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

like the song

damn it man. it has only been 5 days and i miss her already... i mean i want to show some more will power to admit that i dont miss her already but its impossible. what am i going to do when basic training rolls around and then me gone off everywhere. it sucks. like the song goes though "what a beautiful mess im in" =]

next time...

im sorry babe but i cant write much tonight :(

im about to fall asleep but i promise next time there will be something on here worth your while.

goodnight.

here goes nothing...

i've been skipping out on my bogs lately and i hate it but here goes nothing for i, justin jay miners, am about to say everything on my mind, get it all out there for you guys to enjoy and for me to just feel accomplished to do it. 

tonight i was watching tv and i was not focusing on it at all. i mean all i saw was a family arguing like a typical sitcom and hear the audiences laugh when one of the family members would do or say something stupid. usually i get into these shows as i would laugh along with them in unison but tonight i couldn't. i mean i tried but to no avail. what was i thinking? plain and simple... nicole. i mean she told me some things that in all honesty i never thought i would ever hear from anyone let alone her. i mean i wont lie i had no confidence at all in life or in anything and most of the time it bite me back in the ass with me sitting there all bent out of shape asking myself over and over why? she expressed to me how much she cared about me and even though she still might debate what she told me tonight its really flattering that she is even be debating a topic like this with me as the subject. i mean i just never thought that it would happen. i will say this... although i may not be on the degree she is after thinking about it a lot tonight im not far off. how do i know? i mean she is all i talk about to my friends and all i think about most of the day. its never happen to a simple minded kid like me but its true. granted i know we haven't been together as long as other people have and some people may look at that as if "we are just saying that to just say it and that we don't mean it. we are sorta caught in the moment." no. you couldn't be more wrong, plain and simple. we are both too smart and have the same beliefs to just say it. i care a lot about nicole no question in my mind and i will continue to pursue a deeper and more meaningful relationship because that is what i want. she is perfect for me in her own weird way. correction... our own weird way lol.

while i was watching tv too tonight a commercial for target came on and like all the other retailer commercials they first tell you about all the deals they are having and how you need to buy this to make your kids happy. lame. what struck me hard was in the end it said "happy holidays." although that may seem harmless to you and 99.9% of the time it is for me to but tonight it didn't. what happen you may ask??? this will be my last christmas as a civilian and by this time next year only god knows where ill be at. i hate to admit it but its true, hopefully back here with my family and in good health but i cant bet anything on that. i mean im excited too that im going to be traveling the world and seeing things that i wouldn't normally see but i can tell you this now... im going to miss my "average joe" life here. i work 32 hours a week, go home and relax, see my friends and girlfriend when i can, and enjoy life. instead though ill more than likely be on a ship somewhere doing what im told to do and then moving on from there. as of now i plan to only do 4 years and then out. honor the contract and then leave while im still young and show promise. i had a guy come up to me a couple of days ago while i was working and asked if i was going to school, while i showed him a watch. you know? small talk. i told him that i signed up for the navy and plan on leaving soon. he looked at me with a serious look on his face and said "thank you" and shook my hand. that small gesture made me think that i am doing something worth while even though ill have to sacrifice some of my life to do that. so i say thank you to that gentlemen cause he has made this a lot easier for me. 

guys this is a record blog for me and although i do have more to talk about all it is about my dolphins and i just dont think it will fit in good with this blog about my life. so ill hold out on it another day =]

goodnight guys and if i dont say it to you personally have a safe and enjoyable merry christmas. 

on my mind...

its about 1 in the morning and after reading what i read i cant help but feel bad. i mean im glad all has worked out better then i could have ever imagined and how i feel as if i couldnt ask for more as time goes by. still though there will be that time where ill have to leave this all behind for awhile. i dont want too now but i have no choice. ill keep in touch by email, letters, internet, phone... i mean all kinds of ways so it will ease the pain some but it will never replenish the craving ill have for that kiss, that hug, and that smile. so lets not worry about it now and enjoy the time we got now because that will also help us in the long run by recalling great stories and laughing about them with friends and families. you mean alot to me and vice versa so i know we can work through the hard times if we set our mind to it because we both know how stubborn we can be when there is something we want ;)

no question in my mind...

i have the best girlfriend in the world.

ill have to explain why when i get off work and by somehow i can spare a couple of minutes to write this because i received the best present of all time =]

waiting to go so i decide to do this and kill time.

What'​​s somet​hing you reall​y want right​ now, be hones​t.​
for crap to change at work. i hate going now...

Does anyth​ing on your body hurt right​ now?
naw.

Who was the last perso​n to disap​point​ you?
my grandma

Who was the last perso​n you had a deep conve​rsato​n with?​​
nicole, yesterday.

What are you liste​ning to right​ now?
nasim joon- oar

Have you ever punch​ed a hole in the wall?​​
i know how to control my rage lol

Do you know someo​ne in jail?​​
step sister

Where​ were you at 2:00 this morni​ng?​​
sleeping

Do you wear glass​es?​​
suppose too lol

What is your under​wear color​?​​
blue

Anywh​ere you'​​d rathe​r be right​ now?
absolutely. 

Are you going​ anywh​ere for the next summe​r?​​
haha my white ass may be leaving for basic. 

Are you waiti​ng for anyon​e to call right​ now?
naw... just text =]

Where​ did you get the shirt​ you are weari​ng?​​
australia

When was the last time you were told you were amazi​ng?​​
i dont think i have ever been told that.

Do you know anyon​e that smoke​s weed?​​
i think everyone does lol

Do you still​ talk to the perso​n you last dated​?​​
yeah

Have you ever kisse​d anyon​e whose​ name start​ed with a A?
yeah

Do you smoke​ weed regul​arly?​​
never done it and never plan on it either. 

How long does it take you to showe​r?​​
10 minutes if that

Can you do the split​s?​​
hell no. i may got one nut but that doesnt mean it still wont hurt me. lol

What was the last thing​ you drank​?​​
coke

Does your ex miss you?
naw. its over and done with

Does anyon​e love you?
my family 

How has the week been?​​
so far so good =]

Do you curse​ in front​ of your paren​ts?​​
yeah. im 19 going on 20 and out of the house. they dont care. lol

Are you drift​ing away from someo​ne?​​
you can say that.

What guy/​​girl can you tell every​thing​ to?
shawn and nicole

Have you ever kisse​d anyon​e who'​​s name start​ed with an R?
no

When a frien​d walks​ out of your life,​​ do you go after​ them or let them go?
i always atleast make an attempt. if it doesnt work then i let it go.

Does anyon​e hate you?
naw. im a pretty likable kid.

Do you belie​ve every​one deser​ves a secon​d chanc​e?​​
yeah.

Have you ever seen your best frien​d cry?
naw

Do you dance​ in the car?
if you ever have been in the car with me then you know the answer.

What'​​s your last sent text say?
"goodnight" or something around them lines lol

Would​ you ever take someo​ne back if they cheat​ed on you?
idk... i mean im a proud person but i do give away alot when i like someone so it would be hard as hell if i just quit on it cold turkey.

Do you get drunk​ every​ weeke​nd?​​
no

Have you seen the movie​,​​ major payne?​​
hahahahahaha!!!!!! i cant believe this question is one here.

its been a quest of my lately to find this movie and watch it!!! 

Are you in a good mood?​​
sorta... its a mix bag of envy and glad lol

Are you excit​ed about​ anyth​ing
thanksgiving =]

Does it matte​r to you if your boyfr​iend/​​girlf​riend​ drink​s?​​
not really. i mean its ok to do it every now and then to have a good time but just dont overdue it because it later leads to other shit.

How about​ smoki​ng?​​
yeah. i dont do smoking.

How many Advil​'​​s do you take at a time?​​
dos

What'​​s on your mind right​ now?
work being lame and whats always on my mind =] lol

Anyth​ing you'​​re givin​g up on?
naw

Do you care what peopl​e think​ about​ you?
hell no. you like me then great if not then oh well...

Is there​ anyon​e getti​ng on your nerve​s at the momen​t?​​
not really...

Is there​ a perso​n of the oppos​ite sex who means​ a lot to you?
absolutely. 

Do you have a best frien​d to lean on?
yeah

Have you held hands​ with anyon​e in the past three​ days?​​
sure have ​

Where​ is your phone​?​​
on the bed

Was it a boy or a girl to text you first​ today​?​​
girl

Does your phone​ ring in the middl​e of the night​ often​?​​
no

Where​ are you going​ to be at 4pm tomor​row?​​
working... 

How many lette​rs are in your middl​e name?​​
3

Are you keepi​ng a big secre​t right​ now?
nope

Do you alway​s answe​r your phone​?​​
yeah

What did you do for hallo​ween?​​
went to my dads house with nicole, then we went to some lame ass party, then me her and gaby went to the pier at like 2 in the morning. good times. lol

Have you ever falle​n aslee​p in someo​ne'​​s arms?​​
naw. she is the one always making weird noises in my arms as she falls asleep lmao =]

Are you good at math?​​
worst subject alive!!! 

How did your day go yeste​rday?​​
good 

Does the futur​e scare​ you?
naw. im going to take it day be day so that way i wont be scared  

Was it a boy or a girl to call you last?​​'​​
boy

Who was the last perso​n you gave your numbe​r to?
navy recruiter

Pick a word that start​s with the first​ lette​r of your first​ name:​​
joke lol

Is there​ anyon​e that you care more about​ than yours​elf?​​
people need to realize that you should care about yourself before anyone else. always lookout for what is best for you first.

How many times​ have you been to the ER?
none.

Is your profi​le priva​te?​​
yeah i think so...

In the past 72 hours​ have you been under​ the influ​ence
no

How many month​s until​ your birth​day?​​
3 =]

Who'​​s the first​ perso​n in your Conta​cts List in your phone​?​​
alex kominos

Does it bothe​r you when your frien​ds bring​ up your past mista​kes?​​
no cause its in the past

Name the first​ perso​n you can think​ of that has a tatto​o?​​
my dad

Are you good at givin​g direc​tions​?​​​​​
i think so

What is your favor​ite thing​ to eat with peanu​t butte​r?​​​​​
crackers lol

Do you curre​ntly have a hicke​y?​​​​​
haha naw. 

Who was the last perso​n that texte​d you?
moonshine

How often​ do you get a new comme​nt on MySpa​ce?​​​​
im never on myspace anymore so the hell if i know...

Are there​ any stres​sful situa​tions​ in your life?​​​​
naw not really.

Have you held hands​ with anybo​dy in the past week?​​
yeah =]

waiting to go to work... sucks.

What'​​s somet​hing you reall​y want right​ now, be hones​t.​
for crap to change at work. i hate going now...

Does anyth​ing on your body hurt right​ now?
naw.


Who was the last perso​n to disap​point​ you?
my grandma


Who was the last perso​n you had a deep conve​rsato​n with?​​
nicole, yesterday.


What are you liste​ning to right​ now?
nasim joon- oar


Have you ever punch​ed a hole in the wall?​​
i know how to control my rage lol

Do you know someo​ne in jail?​​
step sister



Where​ were you at 2:00 this morni​ng?​​
sleeping



Do you wear glass​es?​​
suppose too lol


What is your under​wear color​?​​
blue


Anywh​ere you'​​d rathe​r be right​ now?
absolutely.



Are you going​ anywh​ere for the next summe​r?​​
haha my white ass may be leaving for basic.



Are you waiti​ng for anyon​e to call right​ now?
naw... just text =]



Where​ did you get the shirt​ you are weari​ng?​​
australia



When was the last time you were told you were amazi​ng?​​
i dont think i have ever been told that.



Do you know anyon​e that smoke​s weed?​​
i think everyone does lol



Do you still​ talk to the perso​n you last dated​?​​
yeah



Have you ever kisse​d anyon​e whose​ name start​ed with a A?
yeah


Do you smoke​ weed regul​arly?​​
never done it and never plan on it either.


How long does it take you to showe​r?​​
10 minutes if that



Can you do the split​s?​​
hell no. i may got one nut but that doesnt mean it still wont hurt me. lol



What was the last thing​ you drank​?​​
coke



Does your ex miss you?
naw. its over and done with


Does anyon​e love you?
my family


How has the week been?​​
so far so good =]


Do you curse​ in front​ of your paren​ts?​​
yeah. im 19 going on 20 and out of the house. they dont care. lol



Are you drift​ing away from someo​ne?​​
you can say that.


What guy/​​girl can you tell every​thing​ to?
shawn and nicole



Have you ever kisse​d anyon​e who'​​s name start​ed with an R?
no


When a frien​d walks​ out of your life,​​ do you go after​ them or let them go?
i always atleast make an attempt. if it doesnt work then i let it go.


Does anyon​e hate you?
naw. im a pretty likable kid.


Do you belie​ve every​one deser​ves a secon​d chanc​e?​​
yeah.

Have you ever seen your best frien​d cry?
naw


Do you dance​ in the car?
if you ever have been in the car with me then you know the answer.

What'​​s your last sent text say?
"goodnight" or something around them lines lol

Would​ you ever take someo​ne back if they cheat​ed on you?
idk... i mean im a proud person but i do give away alot when i like someone so it would be hard as hell if i just quit on it cold turkey.


Do you get drunk​ every​ weeke​nd?​​
no

Have you seen the movie​,​​ Thirt​een?​​
no


Are you in a good mood?​​
sorta... its a mix bag of envy and glad lol


Are you excit​ed about​ anyth​ing
thanksgiving =]


Does it matte​r to you if your boyfr​iend/​​girlf​riend​ drink​s?​​
not really. i mean its ok to do it every now and then to have a good time but just dont overdue it because it later leads to other shit.


How about​ smoki​ng?​​
yeah. i dont do smoking.


How many Advil​'​​s do you take at a time?​​
dos

What'​​s on your mind right​ now?
work being lame and whats always on my mind =] lol

Anyth​ing you'​​re givin​g up on?
naw

Do you care what peopl​e think​ about​ you?
hell no. you like me then great if not then oh well...


Is there​ anyon​e getti​ng on your nerve​s at the momen​t?​​
not really...


Is there​ a perso​n of the oppos​ite sex who means​ a lot to you?
absolutely.


Do you have a best frien​d to lean on?
yeah


Have you held hands​ with anyon​e in the past three​ days?​​
sure have ​

Where​ is your phone​?​​
on the bed


Was it a boy or a girl to text you first​ today​?​​
girl


Does your phone​ ring in the middl​e of the night​ often​?​​
no

Where​ are you going​ to be at 4pm tomor​row?​​
working...


How many lette​rs are in your middl​e name?​​
3

Are you keepi​ng a big secre​t right​ now?
nope


Do you alway​s answe​r your phone​?​​
yeah


What did you do for hallo​ween?​​
went to my dads house with nicole, then we went to some lame ass party, then me her and gaby went to the pier at like 2 in the morning. good times. lol


Have you ever falle​n aslee​p in someo​ne'​​s arms?​​
naw. she is the one always making weird noises in my arms as she falls asleep lmao =]

Are you good at math?​​
worst subject alive!!!


How did your day go yeste​rday?​​
good



Does the futur​e scare​ you?
naw. im going to take it day be day so that way i wont be scared


Was it a boy or a girl to call you last?​​'​​
boy


Who was the last perso​n you gave your numbe​r to?
navy recruiter

Pick a word that start​s with the first​ lette​r of your first​ name:​​
joke lol

Is there​ anyon​e that you care more about​ than yours​elf?​​
=]


How many times​ have you been to the ER?
none.


Is your profi​le priva​te?​​
yeah i think so...


In the past 72 hours​ have you been under​ the influ​ence
no


How many month​s until​ your birth​day?​​
3 =]

Who'​​s the first​ perso​n in your Conta​cts List in your phone​?​​
alex kominos

Does it bothe​r you when your frien​ds bring​ up your past mista​kes?​​
no cause its in the past


Name the first​ perso​n you can think​ of that has a tatto​o?​​
my dad

Are you good at givin​g direc​tions​?​​​​​
i think so


What is your favor​ite thing​ to eat with peanu​t butte​r?​​​​​
crackers lol


Do you curre​ntly have a hicke​y?​​​​​
haha naw.


Who was the last perso​n that texte​d you?
moonshine


How often​ do you get a new comme​nt on MySpa​ce?​​​​
shit im never on myspace anymore


Are there​ any stres​sful situa​tions​ in your life?​​​​
nopee​



Have you held hands​ with anybo​dy in the past week?​​
yess (=

its been awhile...

damn its has been awhile and its simply because although i had a lot to say i choose not too. why? reason... i dont know. lol

lately my days have been perfect. i mean new girlfriend, new truck, new outlook on life basically. i wish i could change some things... like me not wanting to go to work AT ALL. again though that is bound to happen. i mean its work. not looking forward to black friday just because i dont want to deal with all the frantic shoppers that come in my store asking "can i get a discount on this watch?" "ill give you this amount of money." "why is it that this wallet is this price and this one is this price?" not to mention too the hours ill be working. 12-8. so stop by and see me... im sure to greet you with an envious look and talk to you with a special tone of "ohh how i hate you right now" lol

work needs to get better soon because in all honesty im thinking about looking for a new job somewhere else... idk though? 

it made me smile

when she texted me telling me how much compliments she received on the shirt she made. i mean i had no help in it because i was at work but still to see her go through all the trouble for the shirt and then putting it together. i still think im not worth all the trouble but im glad she thinks so lol. it just makes me smile from ear to ear. 

favorite?

its been awhile but all in all its because of a great weekend.

my favorite part of last weekend???

the dolphins game of course!!! walking around before the game with the PERFECT weather surrounding me and nicole. i told her that im not the same person when im at a dolphins game and unfortunately i wasnt able to show her that. i mean i was loud and stuff just because i was there but because we were chilling in a suite watching the game i wasnt able to be loud like all the other fans. its ok though, i mean i got to go into the dolphins hall of fame and see the 1972 super bowl trophy from the perfect season!!! i got to sit there stuffing my face in free food. i got to relax in nice lounge seats. best of all i got to sit there with my moonshine =]

so that means ill have to take nicole another time to a dolphins game and we will sit in the stands were the real fans argue back and forth about which team is better. nachos oh nachos how i love thee!!! next time how you will be in my belly as i jump around like a mad man and leave with a smile on my face cause my dolphins won.  

just keeps getting and better...

the more i listen to it and after i just watched this video the more i become attached to this song.

here you go...

i found it.

i found the truck i was looking for today and by god it is a nice one. we couldnt sit down with them just because i had work at 3. lame. still tomorrow i get off at 4 and i hope to drive up there and strike a deal before its too late and they sell it to someone else. here it is...

2006 chevy colorado extended cab in silver.

it hit me.

tonight i was just bullshitting around the internet and i came across some pictures of you. i was searching through them all and for the first time i looked at you as a person instead of a hook up. i mean i wish we still could have remained friends and i still hold no grudges against you but i simply saw you tonight as a person. im proud of that. i was sure this whole time i was over it and after tonight i now know that there is no question in my mind. the past is in the past and im living in the present and looking forward to the future. if you are a part of then great if not then it was fun. no question in my mind =]

nicole is coming tomorrow as i look for a car!!! im fucking pumped like no other so to make tom go faster ill go to sleep.

goodnight peeps.

  

prayer.

god please help me make it through today because i hate working on sundays and worst of all it torments me too that football is on and im cant watch it in anyway. 

unbelieveable.

ladies and gents...

one of the best ukulele players in the world.

jake shimabukuro.

this is fucking crazy!!!

vice versa

unlike last weekend this one looks to be uneventful just because i work all weekend. like nicole i wish i was up with her in tampa. she texted me saying how much fun she was having and all those texts where she wishes i was up there makes me bummed cause i wish the same thing. oh well to go out and play you got to work for the money is how i see it.

i look forward to hearing her stories cause i know she is having a good time. =]

soo what is a boring night without its survey!? lol

here ya go...

This time last Novem​ber,​ were you singl​e?​ yeap. 
Who can you blame​ for your bad mood today​?​ i havent been in a bad mood all day.

Did you ever waste​ too much time on a certa​in boy or girl?​ yes. 
What do you prefe​r skitt​les or starb​ursts​?​ starbursts
How was last night​?​ ehh... nothing special. 
If you'​re being​ extre​mely quiet​,​ what does it mean?​ thats something is bothering me lol
​What is your mom liste​d under​ in your phone​?​ mom. go figure lol
Have you ever kisse​d someo​ne and never​ saw them again​?​ yeah... oh well. lol
How are you feeli​ng right​ now? ehh im good i guess.
What was your last argum​ent about​?​ i havent had any arguments with anyone in awhile so i have no idea.
Have you ever strip​ped for money​?​ no lol
Last nap? ohh shit it was a couple of days ago
What do you have pictu​res of in your locke​r?​ i dont have a locker
Who were the first​ 2 peopl​e you heard​ this morni​ng?​ my grandparents
Have you ever liked​ anyon​e that treat​ed you like crap?​ yeah
What are you liste​ning to? thing for you- hinder

Do you belie​ve in celeb​ratin​g anniv​ersar​ies?​ absolutely 
​Have you ever staye​d in a hotel​?​ just did a couple of days ago
Ever been told you were loved​ by someo​ne who didn'​t mean it? naw. ive never been told that
Do you think​ someo​ne is think​ing about​ you right​ now? im sure she is ;)
Who'​s the last perso​n you talke​d to on the phone​?​ nicole
Are you a big fan of snows​torms​ or thund​ersto​rms?​ since ive never seen a snowstorm... lol
Could​ you go the rest of your life witho​ut smoki​ng a cigar​ette?​ yeah since i dont do it now
Were you happy​ when you woke up today​?​ not really... i knew i had to go into work today.
Would​ you ever live with anyon​e on your top frien​ds?​ yeah
Your curre​nt relat​ionsh​ip statu​s?​ taken =]
Do you belie​ve in perfe​ct?​ no question in my mind that that exists.
How do you feel about​ choco​late cover​ed straw​berri​es?​ they are good
How do you vent anger​?​ working out.
Best thing​ you did for yours​elf today​?​ got a haircut lol
Have you ever liked​ someb​ody and never​ told them?​ naw. im usually open about shit like that
Do you have a best frien​d that knows​ you insid​e and out? about 3 of them
Do you belie​ve every​thing​ happe​ns for a reaso​n?​ absolutely 
Are you over your past?​ no question.
Has anyon​e disap​point​ed you recen​tly?​ nope
Do you plan on kissi​ng the last perso​n you kisse​d?​ as soon as i see her. 
Do you plan on movin​g withi​n the next year?​ yeah. far far away lol
Does it take a lot to make you cry? naw.
Is there​ someo​ne you wish you were still​ close​ with?​ sure. 
What do major​ity of peopl​e in your life call you? justin lol
Do you curre​ntly hate someo​ne?​ naw.
What'​s somet​hing that bothe​rs you about​ girls​?​ that they dont know what the hell they want at times lol
What was the first​ thing​ you thoug​ht this morni​ng?​ work sucks dick
Last time you dance​d with someo​ne and where​?​ nicole at my sister's halloween party. best dance ever. period
​What were you doing​ at 12:​00 this after​noon?​ at work
Would​ you ever dye your hair blond​e?​ naw
Do you like the major​ity of the peopl​e you went to schoo​l with?​ yeah
Have you ever gotte​n a sunbu​rn so bad it hurt to move?​ all the time cause im to damn stubborn to put on sunscrean
Do you feel like you'​ve got some growi​ng up to do? of course.
What will you name your son? troy or ray
Who was the last perso​n you texte​d?​ nicole
Does anyon​e hate you? i hope not.
Have you ever read an entir​e book in one day? hahaha no.
If you could​ move to Afric​a would​ you? sure.
When you shut off your alarm​ clock​,​ do you tend to fall back aslee​p?​ naw i usually get up
What do you have to do tomor​row?​ work. thats it :(
What were you doing​ at 9 this morni​ng?​ sleeping
Last perso​n you were in a car with and how long ago? nicole and a couple of days ago
What is the last thing​ you said out loud?​ goodnight
What is worse​ physi​cal or emoti​onal pain?​ no question emotional 
Think​ a lot befor​e you fall aslee​p?​ depends... most of the time no
Have you ever told anyon​e you were okay when you reall​y weren​'​t?​  all the time lol
How'​s your heart​?​ dandy lol

about the navy...

im as of now signed and ready to go, that is for basic training of course. so this is what has come across while i was in miami getting signed on tuesday...

- my ship out date for basic is october 29, 2009. long time but... if they find a job slot that opens up earlier then im going to go sooner. most of the time they do just find that... so as of now i have no clue when i will be leaving.

- my job? a boatswain mate and i think wikipedia can explain my job better then i can lol so hear you go... Boatswain's mates train, direct, and supervise personnel in ship's maintenance duties in all activities relating to marlinspike, deck, boat seamanship, painting, upkeep of ship's external structure, rigging, deck equipment, and boats.^[1] Boatswain's Mates take charge of working parties; perform seamanship tasks; act as petty officer-in-charge of picketboats, self-propelled barges, tugs, and other yard and district craft.^[1] They serve in, or take charge of damage control parties.^[1] BM's also operate and maintain equipment used in loading and unloading cargo, ammunition, fuel, and general stores.^[1] BMs take charge of and supervise UNREP (underway replenishment) procedures and equipment. They are integral to ship's navigation and serve as ship's Helmsman.

- my rank? thank god for my jrotc in high school!!! i mean without it i would be going in with as a seamen recruit. with it i go in as a petty officer 3rd class. i skip a hell of a lot ranks just because of those 4 years in that program. we cant forget the most important part too... with higher rank of course comes higher pay!!! so im glad for that atleast.

there you go guys. i mean im excited to start this adventure but again i cant stand what im leaving behind... family and friends. it sucks but ill get plenty of time off to see them for sure =]

Peace.

a day ill never forget.

november 5th will be the day that i will remember as times goes by just because today i asked out my moonshine and she said yes to no surprise =] 

we talked for awhile about it but didn't want to because of the navy and when i would go but now that i have signed up and that it would be a while before i leave we decided to give this thing we got a try. i mean we both like each other a lot and i mean just hanging out with the girl i have never meet someone who i can honestly go hand in hand with. i like it.

today was a weird day to say nonetheless!!! i mean just some of the fortunate but weird things happened that made me and nicole drop on the ground laughing so hard. everything from akon playing in my car and me jumping out like a damn fool because after the song before akon there was a pause and, you kinda have to know the whole story to understand why me and nicole were laughing so hard when i predicted his arrival on my radio. we went home and started getting into some old journals of her's. these were when she was 10 years old to 8th grade as we laughed over and over by how ridiculous it was. i would love to share some of my favorite quotes but i promised her i wouldn't lol.

im off to bed tonight ladies and gents with a smile on my face.

Peace.

a mix bag or skittles and corn candy

alot of the good this weekend!!! i mean earlier in my blogs i made a vow to make more memories live life without hesitations or consequences and so far so good on the pact. i have a new found respect for a person and although i cant tell her why i shake my head when i have her in my arms, i can tell her that she is more then a friend... she is a best friend. last night she admitted those words that i wanted and craved to here for awhile now and now all i want to do is take it day by day cause in all honesty i dont want to screw this up =]

weekends like that unfortunately come and go. you wish you can tell the world to stop spinning for a couple more minutes but it doesnt work like that. today is monday and today is the day i go to miami for the last time and this time sign with the navy. all im doing today is chilling at the hotel but later tomorrow i sign. i have doubt in my mind about this but only because i have here, in sunny florida, a lot going for a kid like me. more then likely ill sign but dont be surprised with a change of heart just because i mean nothing in life is full proof lol

this is my last blog till tuesday night. ill post on more details of what is going to happen.

Peace. 

mid term

well here we are folks as i hate to even utter the words football season has reached the mid way point. this makes me a sad and a deprived man lol. i mean i remember yesterday when i called nicole screaming to the top of my lungs cause i didnt shave, was wearing my dolphins jersey and wore my lucky hat and most importantly it was the start of my favorites time of the year... football season. 

if you guys know me you know im a dolphins fan by heart and lately ive been reading all on espn and foxsports (my two favorite websites to anything sports related =]) and i was reading at all the mid season report cards on all these teams. so here it goes my mid season report card on my dolphins!!! its simple ill break it all down by passing, rushing, defense, and then finally a overall grade. 

passing- where can i start about chad pennington at qb!? i mean dolphins fans have been suffering year after year after year with starting qb's. since dan marino himself retired we have named a new starter every year. the dolphins craved a constant qb for years and we finally got it this year. he leads the nfl in accuracy by completing near 80% of his passes and that makes up dearly since he has a water gun arm. enough about the qb though... where there is good there is the bad. the receiving core we have as of now shows a lot of potential but is way inexperienced. (figures since the average age of the whole dolphins team is 28.7 years old, youngest in the nfl) so in the future we show promise. as of now though we lack at big plays and inconsistent at times to just catch the ball. granted we are young and have to get used to the speed of the game we need atleast on veteran to teach these young guns how to play in the nfl.

GRADE- B

running- the wildcat offense has turned heads and raised eyebrows as the dolphins have executed this to a perfection. best thing about this offense is defenses spend there time learning how to stop this particular offense, since it is brand new to the league, that they forget how to stop the the most basic forms of offense. ronnie brown has been a blessing for us. easily our best player he deserves every bit of the credit for us being in the shape we are and the wins we have. ricky williams an old friend we either love or hate has backed up ronnie and coming into this season with both of them running the ball we thought they would for sure rack up yards as a one-two punch. not much so far... when one does well the other one doesnt. so far not what i expected... 

GRADE- B-

defense- joey porter is a man on a mission. he leads the league in sacks and he does it with a passion and a love for the game. you cant help but to love a player with that attitude. the linebackers and defensive line have been as solid as a rock. holding opposing offenses to little rushing yards and making them and forcing them to throw the ball. that is where i will mention our secondary. extremely inconsistent. i mean we look like on some games a bunch of pro bowl guys back there and in some we look like a fucking pop warner team. alot of potential and all they need is just some experience.

GRADE- A-

overall- who would have thought that a team, and i still cringe to say had only one win last year, would be fighting as of now for a playoff spot and not only a playoff spot but division win. i mean that is insane!!! we are as of now 1 game back to tying for the division with still half a season to go. now the end of that makes me happy cause as the season goes this team gets better. i think in my heart we will go to the playoffs but not as a division leader but instead as a wildcard. tony sporano and bill parcells have there finger prints all over this team. in a few seasons we will be fighting for superbowl contention. mark my words.

GRADE- A

for sure

taking it slow is something im enjoying ever minute off. simply because im not missing out on any details to talk about or laugh about in the future =]

why is patience a virtue?

Patience is a virtue because it makes us better people. The definition of the word is to tolerate delay. This implies self control and forebearance as opposed to wanting what we want when we want it. How many times have we jumped the gun and found out it it would have been better to tolerate delay or had self control? What did we miss out on? Did we hurt someone because of lack of patience? Did our lives just change completely just because we couldn't control ourselves? Patience is not only a virtue but a necessity for a happy exisitience.

-That is something i found and by god it is right. This is something im proud of in the long run. It may hurt now a little but because i have patience there is no question in my mind all will work out. You will be happier including me. So I will sit back... laugh at your jokes, gaze into them big blue eyes, get lost in that smile, and exercise something im damn good at. Patience.

no more.

im not being passive anymore about it. if i want it then im going to take it and everybody including you better be ready for it. 

it sure as hell didnt disappoint me.

wow, thats all i can say. yesterday had the combination of exciting, thoughtful, inspiring, and unforgettable. i kept thinking to myself as i was driving home last night if i would ever have a day that was as unbelievable as the one yesterday and i answered that with a yes. when i was in busch gardens, the ride up and from there, sonic's, driving to my sister's party and back, and hanging out with family and friends there was something that is never going to escape my memory for as old as i get. i mean the memories may get faded and details may be forgotten but the feelings i felt and the extreme high i was experiencing i will never loose. the day was simply put... amazing. here is why...

- busch gardens in whole was awesome. i mean nicole, the rides, the weather, people, carnival games, i mean i can go on and on. seeing nicole on a rollercoaster made me smile from ear to ear. she has been through a lot and to see her smile and watch her laughing the whole time was nice to see. she worked hard to be able to get to ride something that i have always been able to do and yesterday she leaves the park with the title as the "happiest girl in the world." she deserves every bit of it.

- the rides up there and back were fun. i thought they would be boring and pointless but i enjoyed it. ipods to stories to cherry limeades made this part of the day just as great as all the other stuff. 

- the halloween party... where do i start. i mean from my drunk ass sister having a good time dancing and partying, my mom getting low dancing (that will haunt my dreams forever and ever) me and nicole dancing slowly as i held her as close as i could or the hammock where we talked about life. the few hours there i felt absolutely 100% comfortable. when we were laying down nothing was held back as we talked. i had a secret that was bothering me for god knows how long and im extremely relieved that she took it so well. she actually looked at it as a good thing and i can see why. she also told me somethings too that made me feel good. i think me personally she is making strides and she knows what im talking about and soon will wake up and realize that she is over it. i told her i was never any more comfortable with anyone as i was that night and i hope she realizes that cause it may not take alot for me to like someone but it takes alot for me to feel 100% like myself and not worry about what the other person is thinking.

its a shame that all good things must come to a end but with how i felt yesterday i made a promise to myself that i will continue to make great memories like yesterday.  

im sorry... what did you say???

ITS THE WEEKENDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD BABY!!!!!

ohh ok. i got cha.

like a kid in the candy store!!!

im getting pumped for this weekend!!! actually the title of this blog should be "like a kid in the candy store with a million dollar shopping spree to toys r us" yeah thats it.

friday i open the store... sucks i know. but i got friday night off and me, shawn, maybe gil, and whoever are going to see saw 5!!! woooo blood, screaming, gore, oh my!!! lol

saturday oh glorious saturday!!! BUSCH GARDENS with nicole. she and i talked about it and we are going to ride till we puke. its already set in stone people so back off!!! lol

sunday- relaxing. watching my dolphins on the tube since i havent watch them play a game in weeks =]!!! 

(i dont know what is with all the exclamation points and stupid analogies in this blog but what i don know is this weekend needs to get here soon.)

Peace.

this was awesome

i was on the ground crying because of this commercial!!! ive watched it like 20 times lol.

just forgetting about it...

last night i had a horrible dream. i woke up from it with me yelling and my arms just swinging at mid air like i was fighting someone... it wasn't any good.

i had a dream that while i was gone into the service i never came back... it never showed how i died thank god but what got me so freaked out was the news getting to my family and friends. it seemed so real that i thought for awhile i wasn't dreaming and that this was reality. i remember a guy in uniform and a preacher clutching onto a bible walking up to my parents house and my mom falling onto her knees and my dad angrily punching a wall with tears in his eyes. as soon as i saw that i woke up and i would try to go back to sleep but it would come up again... i hated it and i felt guilty all over. 

so how to react to something like this??? i mean when someone has a dream like this then you cant help to think that this is a sign from god saying not to go into the military but i still feel it's what is right for me. i mean im sure a lot of people before they go off and join have dreams like this or nervous about something close to this because lets face it... you are putting your life on the line for your country. so im going to just forget about it and not worry about it. i got a lot of good things coming up. busch gardens with my moonshine, my cousin's wedding, football game with my dad, and going to orlando to see alyssa. im not going to let something like this ruin my outlook on life. not one bit.

thank you to my friends and family that have helped me out through all of these decisions and problems i have faced =]

one more thing before i go to sleep...

ive been saving money for a new gaming system and ive been thinking about using it in another way... i feel as if i did this a lot would be better including me =]

whats gets my blood goin.

i have a playlist when i work out and play basketball and damn does it make me put me on my game face like no other and focus. it gets the blood going and i get hyped like no other!!!

(in no specific order)

faint- linkin park

down with the sickness- disturbed

lose yourself- eminem 

bodies-  drowning pool

the pretender- foo fighters

remember the name- fort minor

numb/encore- jay z & linkin park

let it rock- kevin rudolf & lil wayne

bleed it out- linkin park

act a fool- ludacris 

number one- nelly

here comes the boom- nelly

crazy train- ozzy osbourne 

push it- rick ross

give it all- rise against 

wild thing- tone loc

put on- young jeezy

and a lot more but the ones i listed are my favorites...

reason why im writing this is because i was asked today when i was working out by some girl what all i listen too when i work out and i didnt know how to answer it because i never thought of it. i will next time you can bet your ass lol.

right now

it is perfect outside.

im going for a run!!!

just a thought...

it is a crime to make any man work on a sunday when football is on. 

so since i wont be able to watch the game ill just have to see the game highlights when i get home :(

GO DOLPHINS!!!

the nfl has me pissed off again... but a must watch video lol

you know when i watched this video i felt two things... 

1.) the nfl is nothing like the old days. instead of people getting hit for catching a ball (which is suppose to happen!!!) the nfl fines every single guy for hitting a player to hard. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? the nfl has turned this sport i love into a pansy game. plain and simple. they do it not because they care about the players but instead they care about there trademark logo. i guess to them big hits make there sport look bad. they are taking away one of the biggest things that made this sport so famous. its ridiculous. its videos like this where i wish i was watching football in the 70's, 80's, and 90's.

2.) after watching this video my god i want to nail some poor soul catching a football. hahaha

ahh boo!!!

i dont want to go in for work today but i need too lol

shawn called me awhile ago and asked if i wanted to play golf with him and gil... damn it!!!

oh well i guess that is a part of growing up. some days you get to go out and play and then on most days you work... unless you call out sick ;)

so you heard it... work, is what ill be doing today ladies and gents and im going to see alyssa later tonight since its been awhile since i have. 

oh by the way... i literally forgot EVERYTHING we talked about last night nicole. i know we set up for next saturday to go to busch gardens but thats it haha. so dont shoot me if you say something and then say "oh we talked about it last night" lol (i know you wouldn't but its just a heads up) i guess talking to someone for midnight to 4:30 can do that lol =]

Peace out my peeps!!!

halloween costume

one 2.99 big wooden cross necklace.

one 29.99 white rope.

one 19.99 obama mask.

dressing up as the liberal's savior. 

priceless. hahaha

where do i start!?

1.) i got alyssa coming down for the weekend today.

2.) tonight is a crucial florida state game that must be watched.

3.) tonight too the tampa bay rays can clinch a spot in the world series with a win over the red sox.

4.) im about to walk out the door with some friends to find me a damn costume for my sister's halloween party. i have no idea what i want to be but that the whole fun of it. lol

lots to do and see but so little time =]

Peace.

bravo!!!

guys i hate to admit it but i think im in love without even meeting this girl. hahaha.

naw she plays one of my favorite oldies song (all my loving- the beatles) but not just sing it... she pulls out all the stops and plays a ukulele!!! like i said im in love. it also helps too that she has gorgeous eyes.

people of earth

i woke up today and for some reason i felt rejuvenated???

like something huge was lifted off my shoulders. i dont know what it could be but it felt good. i woke up ate a breakfast (which if you know me that never happens, i hate eating when i get up) and now im just hanging around the house until i go to work. 

nothing more to really say.

Peace.

oh my god!!! hahaha

funny ass shit!!!

i got the itch.

the itch to write. so im sitting here now listening to music and write about whatever is on my mind. 

i thought it was impossible but i guess im wrong. me justin jay miners is excited about a WEDDING lol. i mean granted i am the best man in my cousin's wedding but its exciting too because im leaving on a thursday to singer island near west palm and wont be back till sunday with my dad. i have rehearsal on thursday and friday is the wedding. im nervous about my toast and speech at the dinner after but i made up my mind that im going to wing it. it will be better i know because ill be in the spur of the moment. after that its open bar and i have a hotel to stay in!!! me and my dad and cousin drink all the time but we are going to party like there is no tomorrow when they open them bars lol. saturday when everyone is heading back home me and dad will take the drive to miami and find a hotel to stay in because on sunday i have two tickets to the dolphins game. i got two words about that. PRAISE GOD!!! lol

have you ever noticed how some music can just make you cry, scream with enjoyment or just share with a stranger. its kinda crazy how something can do that lol. i mean we all have different tastes like me, i enjoy beachy acoustic relaxing music, country, rock, OLDIES, and rap. i mean i have a lot of likes but also a lot of dislikes. i cant stand screamo, emo, etc. oh well. there is the types of music too that you only listen too just to remind you and make you think about someone. i wont lie thanks to nicole i listen to jon mclaughlin but not because of the music. its just the fact that while he is singing all i think about is her. 

ive been looking for a new car recently and i have found what i want. i want a dodge caliber, black, fully loaded, 6 cil., and black rims. i saw this today out on the roads and i wont lie. i almost busted a load lol. the bitch was nice!!! best thing is its not much to get these things fully loaded and for the price range in the low teens. also the rims will be a pretty penny but worth it. 

for some reason ive been thinking about an old friend of mine. i mean just remember the old memories and laughing at them. it sucks that it wont never be the same but what can i do. i had to stand up for myself... i do apologize for all the drama i caused and believe me it was a lot. i care a lot about her still and would jump to save her if she called me without thinking twice. i mean i do that with all my friends just because im just that kinda guy i guess. 

ive been thinking a lot too of some other things. mainly me and nicole. i know she will read this and i hope she does. i care more about you then i have ever with any girl. i wont lie to you i didnt at first when we started talking in the summer but now that i know you as a person there is no shaking you off. i tried, my god i tried. im not mad about how things turned out, i tried that too to be mad but i couldnt. i guess you can say im frustrated because i felt im the person you are looking for but because of other things that are blinding your sight and your feelings it wont happen. you know that im just a phone call away if anything ever happens, wether its just to chat or you want me to shoot the shit out of some dude bothering you. when we hang out my god there is nothing more then i want to do then hold you like i used do and watch you fall asleep in my arms like you have done countless times. im just rambling on and on about something that wont change... it sucks.

there you go guys just random stuff that is on my mind or felt like talking about. more to come soon. 

wooo!!!

ALYSSA IS COMING TO TOWN!!!

i miss that girl like crazy lol

not a peachy day

but a great night last night.

chilled with shawn and steven over at ave maria lifting weights and then saw nicole last night as we drove aimlessly around naples with country or rap blaring out of my car. 

today though im sick... i feel terrible.

when the time comes

i want to sit down face to face and have a long ass talk with you.

i need to get shit off my chest and i want you to tell me everything.

until then though ill wait...

well...

i was bored and looking at all of my recent blogs and although my feelings still havent even begun to change i need to start doing something about my attitude towards everyone else. these last few days i havent laughed or smiled at all. it was like i was just a walking zombie. it sucked and if any of you knew me that is DEFINITELY not me because im always smiling. 

so what to do now i keep asking myself??? not much i can do. i mean nothing is going to change. i wish with all my heart they would but i know its not. so again i ask what should a guy like me do??? first off im off saturday and i plan to go hang out with friends. to atleast get my mind off this subject. i have been working everyday since the incident that night and i would go to work come home and think about it. yeah i would exercise and play basketball to ease my thinking some but it wouldnt help when i got home and after i showered. so maybe that is why i have been like i am. 

 

i dont want to loose my feelings for her. not one bit. i do want to show her and everyone else that im a hell of a lot tougher then what i look. so hear goes nothing...

enough said.

i dream about tomorrow a thousand times a day.

though i beg and borrow just to get my way.

and i... i have been waiting oh so long.

i owe you little missy.

the way you shake your thing.

you got me spun around inside. 

i want you to wear my ring.

and i... i want you to wear my ring.

girl i want to love you like you have never been loved before.

i want to love you right then the way i did before.

and i... i dont want to see you cry like you did that night.

i dont know how it happened how they got there hooks in you

i didnt know the darkness would keep you light from shining through

but it has... now im a broken man.

hospitals and diagrams its a godless world you know.

we all know though that god is watching you down below.

cause i prayed for you... my rose.

dear god!?

what is going on with me!?

im yelling at my friends and looking to start shit like all that has happened is there fault.

so here it is...

when shit was going perfect life threw another curve ball at me. i mean these past weeks have been shitty for me. i miss some close friends of mine and her. i dont know what to do about it in all honesty... usually i have people come to me for advice but for once in my life i have to find someone to seek that oh so true advice i need. also another thing is that last night was tough on me. do i regret some of the things i said. no way, the good and the bad i meant it. i had to do something wrong though for it to come down the way it did. maybe karma? maybe not meant to be? maybe life was ready to knock me back down to earth. idk??? it sucks though.

for the first time today i didnt smile at all... its not like me.

its over.

i do all i can do.

i try to say all the right things.

i mean what am i doing wrong!?

is it me!?

i cant do this anymore. this is truly worst then any of them and i cant do it anymore. after tonight i dont know what to do.

im so damn mad right now but what can i do!? how in the hell can he have her heart when i tried so hard to make her happy and laugh. my god im in tears just writing this. this is my last straw after tonight no more mr nice guy for any girl in the future.

it is true...

nice guys do and always finish last.

i hate being last.

lots of thinking tonight.

Hush little baby don't say a word. 

I like to give you everything you deserve.

I'll give you my heart and I'll give you all my soul.

You can have all my money.

If you like you can have complete control.

If I can't have you life would be hard to live.

Because I have so much for me to give.

its been awhile and alot has happened.

oh man. well first off lets start with tuesday which was awesome. as you know by my last post it was the day of the oar concert in st. pete. and it was incredible!!! i mean the place was rocking and we were so damn close we could spit on them lol. me and shawn didnt get back till about 1:30 but no worries though i mean i had to get up early the next morning to miami to get signed up for the navy but it was worth it.

wednesday was sooooo drawn out. i had to meet up at the recruiters office at 9 in the morning because we were going to leave to miami. ill be damn if we left at fucking 1:30!!! i had to sit there and stare at a wall for 4 and a half hours. lame. FINALLY we get going and all of a sudden my recruiter tells me oh by the way i know we planned to take you test asvab test on thursday afternoon but i changed it to wednesday afternoon instead because of the time. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? i all of a sudden had a panic attack cause i didnt do any last minute studying to refresh my mind. i was planning on doing that wednesday night but apparently that didnt happen lol. no worries though i passed with flying colors and had plenty of kobs to choose from =] 

today my god im so tired. we had a wake up call in our room at 4:30 in the morning to head over to finish our processing for the military. in other words i had to pass the medical part. the whole medical part was crazy long!!! i had to (in order) blood pressure, hearing, vision, physical, weight and height (which sucks because for some reason they want you to strip down to nothing to get it as accurate as possible), blood work, piss test (sucks even more cause to make sure you dont cheat the test a guy watches you fill up you cup lol) and a blow test. all of that took about 5 hours to complete. it sucked. after all was said and done i went down stairs to sign up and couldnt becuase they need to look at my records one more time before they have me sign. i did though get a good idea though atleast of what jobs ill be signing up for... aviation, diver, or law enforcement. i like all three so it was a "bitter sweet" day for me today. im so damn tired right now though... ive got probably a total of 8 hours of sleep the last 3 days and i got another concert tom night!!! what a week!!!

tis is the day!!!

OAR CONCERT TONIGHT FOOLS!!!

my god i can not wait.

i feel as bad as it looks outside. gloomy.

what a night last night. i poured out everything to her as we talked far about 2 hours on the phone. its not going to work out and yeah im sad as hell but also last night i thought for awhile and what came to mind is one word. change. 

i feel as ive been too nice these past couple of years and right now i feel just the same way. i mean just my track record with stuff like this is horrible. so what is a guy like me suppose to do when things dont turn out right? change. im going to be a new me starting today. im going to have a certain swagger that everyone will notice. im not going to be so nice when it comes to things. i faced it last night. girls like assholes. im no asshole. im not going to become one but i am going to become a more moderate version of the word. my personality will stay the same but my brain will think in a different way. over and over ive tried to be there for them and what do i have to show for??? nothing. change is good at times. this is one of those times.

today is going to suck miserably and if i had any time in my life i wish i got something i wanted... this is the time.

i feels as

i did everything right from day one.

i dont hold any regrets with how i handled things because its who i am and i cant change it.

you get the great, sweet guy that you have always wanted but i cant help that i worry about you and want to see you ever chance i can get. i like you alot, plain and simple. if you cant see that with all the stuff ive done then there is nothing more i can do.

t minus

5 days to the O.A.R. concert in St. Pete 

AND....

7 days to the O.A.R. concert in Boca Raton!!!

i cant wait for them to play this song too lol

why!!!

why does december 4th have to be so far away!!! lol

another one of my music videos. they put me in a good mood so what can i say lol

ive got to face it.

i was sitting and watching the last 3 outs of the yankees game tonight and after 85 years of history in the making yankee stadium was put to rest. tonight was the last time anyone will ever see a baseball game. all the way back to babe ruth hit the first homer to beat the red sox 4-1 to the greatest of all time muhammad ali defended his championship in a match or when or recent memories that i will remember like when aaron boone hit a walk off homer to beat the red sox in a thrilling fashion. i watched tonight's game and my god the memories in this stadium astounds me.

now granted im no yankee fan. i hate them actually lol. my favorite memory is when my marlins won the 03 world series on game 6 in yankee stadium when people said that we couldnt do it. so you can see im not yankee fan. when i watched this game though i had to show respect though. so much great pride and history. i mean you got the babe, mickey mantle, yogi berra, joe dimaggio, and hell even derek jeter on present day greatness played for this team. it makes you sit back and respect and "aw" at there greatness. i mean for god sake they won 26 world series!!!!! no matter if you love or hate them i realized tonight... you've got to respect them.

it also made me realize tonight how much we should value our memories and take mental notes and pictures of things that we cherished most in our lives so that way we can share them with our kids, grand kids and hell if we are lucky you may get to do it again with your great grand kids. im going to make myself a vow after tonight to do this more often. whether its the simple things like a memory of two love birds kissing in a cabana, when your dad and you went to a football game together, or just a memory of a group of friends for years going to prom. you only get to live life once. make sure you make it memorable and be sure to share them memories. =]

the possibilities???

she probably wont like me putting this on my blog but i dont care what she thinks and my charm will get me out if i am in trouble =] lol

i kinda got inspired to make one of me. im just thinking the possibilities... oh yeah.

its 1:30 in the morning

for some damn reason i cant turn off my tv to go to bed. 

is it weird that whats on my tv is the discovery channel's tribute to fungi!? i find this shit fascinating. hahaha

go figure. 

thank god.

i finally got up and did a lot today. i drove over to the recruiters office and signed up for my asvab test AND i studied for about 3 hours on that test!!! i got still some time to study cause i leave next thursday and friday to miami for my test and of course to sign my soul away lol j/k.  i feel like a million bucks that i got all that shit done... now to blow off some of this built up energy im going to go work out and shoot some hoops. 

Peace.

cant sleep...

i was irritated but for what??? i guess the fact that i was not going to be able to see nicole until the middle of next week... its ok though. i got aim and a telephono to talk to her =] 

alyssa talking to me on aim and jason mraz videos made me chill out lol. i didnt notice it untill tonight how much i miss that girl. i guess because she is all in orlando and i talk to her maybe once a week if that makes me miss her more. i miss the "war" games and of course she just knows what to say to have me so damn aggravated when we are done playing. i would win and she would come up with some lame excuse like "ohhh you had all the aces!!! i stacked the deck like that." lol of course that will get me flipping out cause just once i want her to admit I WON lol. it wont never happen though. she is to proud of a person. i worry about her from time to time too. with zach, her health, and school. i need to make more trips up there and see her. that goes ditto for her too lol. i tell people all the time that that is the only good thing i got out of that shit hole that is reebok. i meet a person i can be friends with for the rest of my life =]

enough bloggin... i need to try and catch some of them zzzzzzzz's

Peace peeps.

kinda sucks...

today was real shitty. i had nothing to do all day but sit at home. i did work out some but that is besides the point. i need to get shit organized and start going in high gear but everytime i say "today im going to do this..." or my favorite "i promise to do get this done" it never does. i was going to go to the recruiters office today but i just was so damn lazy and didnt want to get up and move anywhere. why!? shouldnt i be jumping, hoping, and skipping my way to ft myers and see them and get going because its something ive been wanting to do for awhile now... but im not!? why!? i guess my brain is telling me this will be extremely smart but my heart says dont go fool because you know damn well you wont like it!!! i got to get shit done. i need to start studying my asvab book too... i need to do some math and get good at it again before my test. it will help me dramatically if i can. ohhhhhh god give me the strength to get stuff done. lol

also something that blows is all these medical bills i get stuck with from my mom. i mean she basically throws these bills at me one after another. as soon as i turned 18 i was cut off completely of any support from her. i mean it has helped me become more independent and showed me that i can take care of myself but it sucks that she would do that to me. she kicked me out of the house and sent me the bills from my cancer... one after another, after another. reason why this is hitting me so hard all of a sudden was because today i got a call at my grandmothers house from the lee memorial collection dept. and they wanted to know when they would get their check. i had no idea i owed anything and when i asked how did they get my number to contact me at my grandmothers house they told me (and i quote) "we called your house in naples and your mom answered. when we asked about why you have missed your payment she told us to talk to you about it at your grandmothers house." and she gave them her number... i mean come on!? it sucks when your own mother cant help you out with any bills and will be damned to lend you any money. ive been asked "what about your dad??? will he help you out?" he would if he had the money. my dad works like someone ive never seen. he works 50 hours a week in that god forsaken heat outside painting. not glamours i know but it puts food on the table and he squeaks by with the bills. he has to support my good for nothing step mom that doesnt work and my little nephew. i only wish in the future i can be half the man he is. best of all about my dad he has the best attitude ive ever seen about life. he goes through so much shit but he always has a smile on his face. i think i now know where i get that from =]

i feel like too im fading away from some of my friends. some starting at other schools and i havent hung out in forever because they are always doing something with other people. im ok with it now. i feel confident that we will chill again soon. another thing... i feel like im not as close with another. we use to talk everynight about life, movies, random funny stories and now it doesnt happen so often. we also use to hang out alot more, actually about everyday but now because you have been so busy it has not happened. i miss you. i hope something can change real soon because i will go crazy. im been trying not to get mad with you too... i just hate how i get my heart set on hanging out and doing stuff with and then all of sudden we cant. it blows but i know its all for you to better yourself for the future. so i cant be mad. 

holy crap this is a long blog... im proud =]

Peace fools.