well...

i was bored and looking at all of my recent blogs and although my feelings still havent even begun to change i need to start doing something about my attitude towards everyone else. these last few days i havent laughed or smiled at all. it was like i was just a walking zombie. it sucked and if any of you knew me that is DEFINITELY not me because im always smiling. 

so what to do now i keep asking myself??? not much i can do. i mean nothing is going to change. i wish with all my heart they would but i know its not. so again i ask what should a guy like me do??? first off im off saturday and i plan to go hang out with friends. to atleast get my mind off this subject. i have been working everyday since the incident that night and i would go to work come home and think about it. yeah i would exercise and play basketball to ease my thinking some but it wouldnt help when i got home and after i showered. so maybe that is why i have been like i am. 

 

i dont want to loose my feelings for her. not one bit. i do want to show her and everyone else that im a hell of a lot tougher then what i look. so hear goes nothing...