this was not the day i wanted...

i dont know where to start... i mean i had plans to go hang out with a friend and all hell broke loose in a matter of an hour. i was driving home after all of this and i wasnt paying attention and put a random cd in and i swear it was the craziest thing ive ever seen. bob marley's three little birds played and i for the first time today smiled. i mean it was perfect timing!!! also too what was so perfect about all of this was that when i left my friends house the whole sky was gray and rainy and ill be damn as soon as that song came there was a break in the cloud and a ray of sunlight hit me on the driver side!!! i felt a warm sensation come over me like someone is looking out for me at that point.

 

i mean even after all that i still feel terrible though (just not as bad as before.) i made a mistake to a friend that i now realize and i feel terrible about it... if she is reading this then i want to say something i havent said to her yet and that is im sorry. she deserves better from me and all she got was the shit end of the stick... i dont know much i can say. if what she tells me is true and she was protecting me from getting hurt then damn it i owe that girl my unconditional love.

why is it in human nature to talk bad about someone behind someone's back??? i mean im not saint about it cause we all do it but im making my self a pact now to resist this. there is no point because if this person finds out from someone else it only hurts 10x worse. i should say i hope there is no truth to what i heard today but i mean now at this point i am torn!!! i mean i am literally stuck in the middle about everything. idk what to do i guess all i can do now is wait for that phone call and see what is really going on... 

this was not a good day at all :(